Anything for him
by ShiningTear
Summary: If you are loyal enough you will give your everything for those who you care. Royai.
1. New assignment

**Anything for him**

Disclaimer: I do not own Full metal Alchemist, Hiromu Arakawa does. I don't get any money from writing this either, this is made just for fun.

A/N: So, I wanted to do a fic with some drama going on and this popped in my mind. I'm not sure how good I'm with writing action scenes, but I decided to try. Please tell me what you think. Oh and if you are readers of "My light", don't worry, I'm still continuing, just trying something different for a change

**Chapter one: New assignment**

She felt her heartbeats speeding, her breathing getting harder. It felt like the world was spinning round and round and round…

She fell down feeling heavy, oh so heavy. Her feet had no power and all her hands could do was to keep them around the weapon. She gasped for more air and everything started to seem red.

"Lieutenant!"

She heard how someone called her. She wasn't sure who he was. She closed her eyes. She felt someway hot. There was something warm running down to her fingers.

"Lieutenant! Oh god…"

She felt strong arms around her. She wanted to look who it was, but she thought _maybe later, I feel a little dizzy._ She heard shouting, someone was terrified. Memories from the last night started to run in her closed eyes like a film.

"_Ok, so are you ready for good news?"_

"_What is it chief?"_

_Mustang grinned at Breda's question and then started with pompous voice. _

"_We have a field mission!"_

_The men in the office cheered grinning like little boys. Lieutenant Hawkeye shook her head amused. They were always like this, ready to do anything if they could skip the paperwork that way. But even she had to admit it was nice to go outside the office for awhile. After all it was spring already and she had seen the colonel wiping the windows for no reason too many times already. That man just couldn't stay still if it was sunny outside._

"_What is the assignment, sir?"_

"_Good question, lieutenant!"_

_Riza was sure she saw sparks around him; he seemed like Armstrong while acting like that. It was kind of scary._

"_Our new assignment comes here: There is this new organization or whatever called "Soul of Amestris". It seems that it doesn't have many supporters yet, maybe twenty as far as we know. They don't want to have this new military training centre to be built. They want to safe the forest instead."_

"_I have heard of it, but I thought it wasn't dangerous group, I thought it was just some tree huggers going against sawing trees."_

"_Yes, it started like that, but now they have become desperate."_

_Roy nodded his head and his face finally started to look serious. He looked everybody in the eyes, his onyx gaze staying in his blonde lieutenant (the one that would not touch a cigarette) little too long. _

"_They have threatened to kidnap the daughter of General White."_

"_What? The little Claire?"_

"_You know her Fuery?"_

_Young man nodded his head lifting his glasses with his index finger. He did that every time he got nervous or frustrated._

"_Yes, I have been babysitting her once, when the General had no one else to look after her. Sweet girl."_

"_Yes, well yesterday morning General White got a call and anonymous man said like this…wait where is the note?"_

"_Look at your front pocket sir." _

"_Oh, yes, thank you lieutenant."_

_Mustang pulled a small paper from his pocket and started to read it aloud._

"_If you do not stop your plans, we will have your daughter. You have two days to stop before we will come."_

"_That's terrible! Threading a little girl!" _

"_It sure is Havoc. Well the thing is, that General White is responsible from building the centre and now he is of course afraid that they will kidnap the girl, so our team has been ordered to keep Claire safe until they catch the group."_

"_When will we start, sir?"_

"_Today. You have one hour to get your things packed, then we will meet here and head to General's house. You can leave now."_

_The men nodded and everyone started to walk towards the door. Everyone, except the colonel and his loyal lieutenant. Roy sat behind his desk and turned to his lieutenant._

"_Hawkeye, shouldn't you be going already?"_

"_I will go soon, but first I have to think what to do with this paperwork."_

"_Don't worry about it. I have already arranged so that it will go to the investigations department."_

"_You have?"_

"_Hughes owned me one. Besides, I knew you would tress about it."_

_He flashed Riza a warm smile, different from his usual grins. Somehow softer. _

"_Go on lieutenant, or you will be late. And I can't deal without you." _

_She blinked her eyes before saluting. It was only the truth of course; it was rare to see the colonel walking without her, most of the people said she was like his shadow. He probably didn't know himself what she did for her, she was his bodyguard, personal reminder and his friend. Still it made her incredibly happy to hear that from his mouth._

_It was because she didn't only think about him as her boss, not even only as her friend. She had loved him for years now; never telling about her feelings, as she was sure they would have disturbed his goal. And that was the last thing she wanted, to be a burden for him. After the years had gone by there had also been this other thing why she stayed quiet. She knew most of the dates he went to were just information sources, but if she really would have had something else than professional relationship, or something else than friendship with him, she knew she would have threatened many girls with her gun already._

_There was only one man she would be jealous of, only one man she would die for and sadly this man would be with any other woman than her. So she did her job, supported him with all she had and made sure he needed her more than anyone else. And, she thought, maybe one day when he would reach the top, she could stand there with him and he would realize that she really was the most important one for him._

"Lieutenant, please open your eyes!"

Man's voice was desperate as he held her in his arms. She really wanted to do so, but something wasn't right. She couldn't do it. Her body wasn't in her command and she felt so tired…

A/N: Ok, so this was the first chapter. Should I continue? Review, but please no flames. 


	2. Order

Disclaimer: So, as you should guess, I do not own FMA or get any money from writing this.

A/N: Here you go, chapter 2. I hope you like it.

**Chapter two:Order**

"_Now, is everyone here?"_

"_Yes, sir!"_

"_Good. Now, let's get going. We will use my car."_

_The group of men and woman walked to the parking lot and got into a black car. Colonel Mustang sat to the passenger's seat as lieutenant Hawkeye was the driver and the rest of the Mustang team stuffed to the backseats. They started their journey to General White's house, or more like a mansion. The house had two floors, it was painted white and it had a nice garden full of exotic flowers. When they jumped out of the car, General White was waiting for them._

_He was tall man with blue eyes and toffee-colored hair. The man was wearing nervous smile while he walked towards them._

"_I assume that you are the famous team Mustang. I am Markus White."_

"_Colonel Roy Mustang. These are my men, Breda, Falman, Fuery, Havoc and Hawkeye. Pleasure to meet you General, even when it's because of such an unfortunate situation." _

_Roy shook his hand and Riza had to hide her proud smile. Who would have thought that this polite, confident and professional man was the same one that had just been complaining about paperwork and gossiping with his men last night at office? Roy could change his image completely without any trouble and it was always working for his benefit. He definitely had right personality for a fuehrer._

"_Let's go inside, shall we? My wife and daughter are waiting there."_

"_Excellent idea, sir."_

_The whole group moved inside the house where they were led to the big, pale yellow living room. They sat to the brown leather couches and were told to wait for awhile. General White left the room._

"_Wow, it looks like it really is worth it to work as a General."_

"_Well Havoc, I bet his paycheck beats yours."_

_Breda grinned._

"_I think it isn't polite to talk about his paycheck while we are on duty, right boys?"_

"_Yes, Lieutenant."_

_Men were busy to answer as they saw her fingers running the side of her blue jacket. They knew full well were she kept her guns hidden. And though she would never shoot them, she could easily make them run for their lives._

_General White came back and with him came his wife and daughter. His wife was maybe 40-year old pretty brunette and his daughter, the little Claire was small, she had blue eyes and light brown hair, which was put onto two piggy tails. _

"_This is my wife Margaret and this is my daughter Claire. She is seven years old."_

"_I'm colonel Mustang and this is my team, nice to meet you. We will take good care of you Claire."_

_Roy smiled to the girl who was shyly holding her mother's hand. _

"Lieutenant, this is an order! Open your eyes _now_."

"Colonel, I don't think that will help…"

"Shut up Havoc! Lieutenant, if you hear me open your eyes."

Oh, so it was _him_, yes, of course it was. Who else it could have been? An order… She had never disobeyed his straight order. She had to…what was it again? Her mind was going foggy, every single thought a little harder. She felt like sleeping. Oh yes, the order…open…open your eyes…

"Lieutenant, please…"

She heard his voice, it was quiet, desperate. Almost inaudible under the noises around. She struggled to open her amber eyes. Her eyelids felt so heavy…

When she got her eyes open she could see her commanding officer was holding her in his lap wearing shocked expression. His onyx eyes were looking at her with concern and his arms were tightly around her.

"Lieutenant…are you hurting much?"

Was she? No…she didn't feel pain, she was numb. Why was he asking? She didn't feel anything.

"No, I'm fine…"

It was hard to form syllables for some reason.

"Why are your hands red, sir?"

Roy looked like breaking. His eyes had pain in them and he didn't answer. Instead he gazed down. She followed his gaze and realized. Or should she say remembered. Her stomach was bleeding, staining her black turtleneck shirt. She closed her eyes again.

"_We will leave her into your handle. My wife is going to travel to her parents and I have to go and watch how the work is going on. We are starting to saw the trees tonight."_

"_Yes, we will protect your daughter sir. Madam."_

"_They have her only over my dead body!"_

_Havoc joined in and young Fuery opened his mouth too._

"_I'm sure they won't get into the house as long as we are here. Don't worry about it." _

"_Yes, we will take care of her."_

_Mrs. White looked like she was going to burst in tears. She hugged Roy and Havoc looked little jealous._

"_Thank you Colonel, please keep your word. She is our only one, my treasure. I don't know what to do if something happens to her because of those terrible people."_

"_Don't worry Mrs. I'm sure they will be caught soon."_

"_Mummy, why are you crying? They said they will keep me safe."_

"_I'm not crying sweetie. Please be nice to mister Mustang and the others."_

"_Sure mummy, tell Granny and Grandpa that I miss them. And say that I want to come to their place soon, 'kay?"_

"_Yes darling. See you later, mummy loves you."_

_Mrs. White hugged her daughter and then her husband tapped her shoulder. _

"_Come on Margaret, the train to East is leaving soon. We don't want you to be late, right? Bye Claire, dad will come home later. You should show our visitors your room."_

"_Yes daddy, see you soon! Have a good day in work!"_

_General White and his wife left and Claire turned towards the team. Her eyes were curious._

"_Who are you?"_

"_Me? I am Riza Hawkeye. I work at the military like your father."_

"_Riza…that's a weird name…Why are you working in the military? You are a lady."_

"_Well, you see, I want to be useful for my country and I have someone to protect."_

"_Do you mean me?"_

"_Yes, you too."_

"_Okay, hey do you like ponies?"_

"_Ponies? Eh…I…"_

_Riza looked at her comrades, she didn't really have an opinion of ponies. And she really wasn't used to talk with children. She was happy as Fuery came to help_

"_Lieutenant has a dog. Do you like dogs?"_

"_Yeah, I love doggies! What is your dog's name?"_

"_Black Hayate."_

"_Oh? Where is Black Hayate now?"_

"_He is with my friend, Rebecca."_

"_Oh…wanna see my room?"_

"_Colonel?"_

"_Yes, it would be nice to see it Claire, why don't you show us the way?"_

"_Ok, come uncle Fuery, come lady Riza."_

_Girl took their hands and pulled them with her to the upstairs while the rest of the group followed them. Claire's room was pink and full of soft animals. It had two big windows with red curtains. Claire showed her toys and drawings to them looking excited. Surprisingly Havoc was getting along with her best of them all, even better than Fuery. He explained that he had always wished to have siblings, but never got them._

_The group sat on the floor and Claire's bed. They spent almost all of the evening there, leaving only when Claire (and Breda) wanted to have evening snack. Then Hawkeye was ordered to watch that Claire brushed her teeth and stuff. After Claire had put on her baby blue pajama, Falman read her a story and she went to sleep. The men didn't leave the room; after all, now the time was up, it had been two days since the phone call._

_But nothing happened. It was quiet, only thing that could be heard was their breathing._

"_I bet they chickened and no one will come."_

"_You can't know that Breda. Though it would be nice."_

"_Do you think we should just keep one person up, so that the rest of us can sleep chief?"_

"_Well, it seems to be quit peaceful now, I can't see why not. Who will stay up first?"_

"_I can do that, sir. I'm not tired yet."_

"_Ok, Hawkeye, wake someone up after few hours."_

"_Yes, colonel."_

"…_Lieutenant."_

"_Yes?"_

"_Promise that you won't stay up more than you should. You won't be useful if you are tired."_

_In his eyes there was this message: I know you too well, don't I? And Riza smiled as she nodded her head._

"_I promise. Goodnight colonel."_

"_Goodnight everyone."_

"_Night."_

"_Goodnight."_

"_Same to you."_

_For awhile everything was just peaceful and silence was only broken by the men's snoring. Then right when the clock was showing midnight Riza saw a shadow behind the window. _

"Is everyone else alright?"

Silence.

"Colonel, answer me."

Riza opened her eyes and saw the colonel nodding quietly. She took a deep breath, coughing quietly. She felt the metal taste of blood in her mouth but smiled a little.

"That's good…"

A/N: Here was the chapter two, I hope you liked it. I'm sorry, I know the story is maybe going little slowly, but it is necessary, so that you get to know everything that happened. Thanks from all the reviews for the first chapter, please give some for this one too Until next chap then!


	3. Cruel fate

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or get any money from writing this story.

A/N: Hello, here comes a new chap. Things are getting heated up…

**Chapter three: Cruel fate**

_There was a loud crack as the window went broken. All of the men jumped up and little Claire woke up looking terrified._

"_What's happening?"_

"_We have to leave now, Claire."_

_Havoc took sleepy Claire in his lap and the rest of the team got their back as everyone run away from the room. Hawkeye pulled her gun from her pocket and was the last person coming out of Claire's bedroom. _

_From the window jumped a man with long blond hair and knife in his hand. Riza fling the door shut and the team headed to the kitchen._

"That's good to hear…"

She repeated quietly and took in another deep breath. Breathing was getting harder all the time.

"Lieutenant…you'll be alright."

"Colonel, I don't thi…"

"You will be alright."

His voice was firm and he watched her straight into eyes. There was determination in his eyes. She smiled softly. She loved that look, it made her feel safe. This man…there was something in him, how to describe it? Yes, there was _flame_ inside him, fire that could be seen through his eyes. Eyes really are mirror of soul, she thought quietly.

"Yes, yes sir. You are right."

"I'm not letting you die Hawkeye!"

"Of course not."

She could feel another cough coming through her numb body. Roy hold her tightly in his arms and when she lifted her own hand from her lips she could see there was blood on it, same blood that made her mouth taste like iron.

Isn't the fate cruel? She thought. Only time you can be held by the one you love, that time is before you die. Because no matter what he said, she could feel her mind get slurred and no matter how she trusted him, she was beginning to think this was going to be her last mission.

"Chief, we have caught them. They are now trapped in the living room."

She turned her head to see Havoc, his baby blue eyes looking sad as he dropped on his knees next to them.

"I'm glad you are ok Havoc."

Havoc changed a look with Mustang and took her stained hand in his own.

"_Is everyone ok?"_

"_Yeah, Chief."_

"_Good."_

_There was a bang coming from the door. Claire started to cry._

"_I'm scared!"_

"_Don't worry sweetheart, uncle Havoc will take care of you. We aint gonna let them hurt you. "_

_Little girl hugged Havoc tightly and tried to stop crying._

"_I want my mommy."_

"_Don't worry, it'll be alright."_

"_You promise?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Did you see the man properly, lieutenant?"_

"_Yes, sir. Do you think there are many of them?"_

"_I'm not sure, it depends if they knew we were here or not. Ok men, listen up!"_

"_Yeah, sir."_

"_Falman, Breda, you will come with me and we will get them all. Fuery, Havoc, you will stay here and take care of Claire. Hawkeye…"_

"_Yes, sir?"_

_Roy seemed to be thinking hardly before he answered._

"_You will stay here with Fuery and Havoc."_

"_But sir!"_

"_Claire needs protection. We can handle the men outside."_

"_I refuse."_

"_Lieutenant…"_

"_I am your bodyguard, sir. I can't stay here, where I can't keep my eyes on you."_

_Roy shook his head ready to argue when Havoc opened his mouth._

"_Sir, we can manage with Claire, I mean if you and Hawkeye are both there, I don't see how anyone can get through here."_

"_I agree with him."_

_Fuery nodded his head and Roy's eyes looked darker, but he agreed. _

"_Fine. Do everything you can to keep her safe, and use what you have to stop them. We won't lose in front of some tree huggers. This should be easy. Good luck men."_

_So they went away from kitchen, except Claire, Fuery and Havoc._

Havoc squeezed her hand and there was guilt in his eyes.

"I shouldn't have said it. You hadn't gone out."

"No, Jean, this isn't…"

She coughed and closed her eyes for a second. That made both of the men gasp in terror.

"Hawkeye!"

"Hush, I'm not dead. And this isn't your fault."

She opened her eyes. It took great effort to do that. It was so hard to stay awake…so so hard. She looked the man she loved in the dark eyes and tried to memorize every single line in his face. His face, though now looking restless was comforting. Something she wanted to have in her eyes on her possibly last moments.

They all turned their heads when they heard running steps coming forward. It was Fuery.

"The doctor is coming. Only few minutes."

"Can't he be faster?"

Roy asked with desperate tone.

"They are driving as fast as they can."

Now Fuery too kneeled down next to them. He looked sick as he saw her wound, which was still bleeding. Her blood that was slowly running away from her body, taking her life with it. He was too gentle to be in military, Riza thought once again. Poor boy.

Then she didn't have any more power to keep her eyes open, she slowly fell into darkness.

A/N: Here it was! Sorry, it's not very long. And yes, I know this chapter ended in torturing moment. Wait for the next chapter, there will be more information and maybe even more drama! And one more thing…what do you think, should I stop this after next chap, or do you want more? Review, please!


	4. Useless

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, or get any money from writing this. I'm just playing with Arakawa's toys.

A/N: Hi everyone. So thanks to your support, I decided to make this story longer than I first planned. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Chapter four: Useless**

_When they rushed out of the kitchen they saw the blond man who had jumped inside from the window. He tried to run away from them, but Breda easily clogged his way and Mustang forced him on his knees._

"_Now, Mr. I think you should tell us, who you are."_

_Mustang said in a way one would talk about the weather. The man stayed quiet. _

"_How many of you are here?"_

_No answer._

"_Well, I can see you are a little shy. Mind if I help you?"_

_Roy's voice was soft, polite, but his eyes were shining dangerously. He took his other hand from the man's shoulder so that he could take his glove away from his pocket. Then the man moved, taking the knife from his belt, trying to hurt Roy._

_His move was soon stopped when a bullet made its way just barely missing his head to the wall behind, causing the man drop the knife. Riza sighed._

"_See what I meant colonel? You're too careless."_

"_That's only because I knew he couldn't do anything while you were in the same room."_

_Mustang gave her teasing smile. It was his way to say thank you. He didn't usually say it straight to her face, but he always found a way. No matter how, he found a way. Because he was a complicated man. She didn't smile herself, just rolled her eyes; it was her way to say: you're welcome._

_Then Mustang turned his attention back to the blond. _

"_You know what kind of people I do not like?"_

_Still no answer._

"_Thieves, betrayers, idiots and assholes. And guys who are planning to torture sweet little girls. And you know what? You fit in at least three of those categories."_

_Riza was secretly amused. Roy was really a drama queen. He just couldn't resist opportunities like this. She decided to assist him, after all wooden house wasn't the best place to put on fire shows. So she took couple steps forward and put her gun to the man's head. He shivered when the cold metal hit his forehead._

"_I suggest you listen the Colonel."_

"_Exactly. Now mind telling your name?"_

"_John Smart."_

"_Oh, isn't it a shame your name doesn't fit your brains? Now, how many are you here?"_

"_Seven."_

_Man was keeping his eyes on Hawkeye's gun when he answered._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes."_

"_So, where are the rest?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_Really? Tell me, where they are or Lieutenant here will have to accidentally move her finger."_

_Roy's face was cold; you could see how he despised the man in front of him._

"Lieutenant! Don't give up! Please, wake up…"

Mustang hold his most precious subordinate in his arms, watched how she kept her eyes closed, how she was bleeding to death in his lap. And only thing he could do was watch. He felt so useless.

Next to him Fuery was already in the verge of tears, young man tried to look brave and cleaned his eyeglasses. Havoc was squeezing Hawkeye's hand so tightly that Roy was sure her blood didn't get to her fingers.

Riza's face was pale, her skin almost white, but she looked calm. Too calm in his opinion. How was it possible, that she didn't fell enormous pain, when she had that kind of wound? Roy had seen people without their limbs, bullets in their heads, he had seen people being burned so badly, that no one couldn't think them as a people anymore. Ishval had shoved him it all. But this…this was thousand times worst.

This time it wasn't some ishvalan, it wasn't a fallen comrade or enemy, it was the woman he loved, his most beloved person. And she was dying in his arms. He prayed the God he didn't believe in; he prayed he could keep her with him. Cause he knew, that if they would take her from him now…he knew he would follow her soon.

Riza's blood ran through his fingers, his white gloves turning dark red. Her black shirt was soaking wet and he didn't dare to think what her stomach looked right now. He felt sick. It was his entire fault, not being able to protect her. He was useless. Why wasn't the doctor here already? Damn it!

"_They are upstairs…"_

_Mr. Smart muttered in defeat and Roy turned to Falman._

"_Take him to the kitchen, Havoc can watch after him. Then go and see upstairs."_

"_Yes, sir."_

_Falman took his own gun and put it on the man's back, taking him to the kitchen. Then Roy, Riza and Breda started to sneak upstairs. There they went to Claire's room, to found two men going through her stuff. With their guns headed to the men they caught them. Everything was going great; they soon had only three men left to catch. Mustang could already feel promotion coming. The mission was certainly going better than expected. _

"Why doesn't the freaking doctor hurry up?"

"I'm sure he will be here in time, Chief…"

Havoc's voice wasn't as trustful as his voice. Mustang was boiling with fear and anger. Then he heard a breathless whisper from his lap.

"Sir…"

"Lieutenant, you shouldn't be talking."

Roy felt incredibly relived to hear her voice, though it was almost inaudible. He turned his gaze to her eyes and could see them looking amazed, fearful.

"Sir, I can see them…"

"What?"

"I can see the ones I killed."

A/N: Oh, now I feel depressed…this really wasn't the best possible chapter; please don't mind…next chap will definitely be better. Until then!


	5. Don't let them get me

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA; if I did there would be more Royai.

A/N: Hi, it is already chapter five, I am quite happy…The secret is revealing! What happened to Hawkeye? Find out!

**Chapter five: Don't let them get me**

"Sir, I can see the ones I've killed."

Roy felt his heart sank with her words. Riza's eyes were now looking forward, not seeing his face, amber gaze looking somewhere much more distant. Her foggy mind played some kind of freaky show in front of her eyes, show which head actors were people long ago dead. People with red eyes, brown skin and amazed expressions.

"Hawkeye, what are you talking about?"

"I can see the little girl…the one with red dress. The one who didn't have her leg anymore. And the old man who tried to escape…"

Her brown eyes were full of sadness. Roy and Havoc changed a look. Young Fuery stared at Hawkeye's face, not seeming to be able to do anything else. Havoc decided to try and get her mind away from the dead ones.

"Hawkeye, you know they are not alive."

"Yes, Jean, I know. I killed them all…"

Her voice was something between guilty and horrified, and then she let out a laugh.

"Is she talking about…"

"Ishvalans."

Havoc ended Fuery's sentence and nodded.

"Hawkeye, look at me."

Roy begged with soft voice, like talking to a little child.

"Sir, isn't it ironic…they've come to get me…"

"Hawkeye! Don't listen…don't listen them."

"I guess it's my turn…it is fair."

Roy shook his head in disbelief. Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, calm, clever woman was now picturing ghosts in front of her, losing touch from the reality. She was becoming hysteric. If she hadn't been injured, he would have shaken her from her shoulders and told her to take a hold of herself. It felt tempting, but he didn't dare to move her because of her wound.

"Roy…I have to go now. They are here. My mother is here."

Ok, that was enough. If Riza used his _first name,_ she was probably sure that she was dying. It was a taboo between them, they never used each other's names, well Roy had slipped couple times, but Riza…never. His two other subordinates' eyes were huge and it was clear they too realized the situation.

"First lieutenant, now I want to, no, I order you to listen to me."

Roy didn't like pulling the rank on her, but now he was ready to do everything he could to keep her will to live on. He moved his other hand from her waist and put it on her chin, making sure she was looking at him. And of course she was, after all she never disobeyed his orders.

"_Riza_, I won't let _anything _or_ anyone _come and get you. You won't die. Do you understand? I won't let you die. I don't personally care if Master himself comes to get you, no one will have you."

"You're so… stubborn, colonel…"

It was hard for her to speak; the men could see she struggled with her words, talked slowly.

"Of course. I can't let you go, how could I ever get any work done without you?"

She smiled before coughing blood.

"And I believe we made a promise to each other. You said you would follow me and I'm not gone yet."

Riza shook her head, taking a deep breath.

"_Will you follow me?"_

"_Even to the hell if you so desire."_

She squeezed his military jacket and nodded.

"But Roy, I feel so cold…"

Fuery and Havoc were feeling like they disturbed something, but they stayed where they were, not daring to leave the couple alone from the fear of what would happen to them.

"And I am…"

She bit her lip until it went white. Roy's whole attention was on the blonde.

"I am already dying…"

Riza then did something no one believed she would do, but something that was natural in her situation. She burst into tears, her sobs shaking her body and shining tears running on her cheeks. Roy wasn't sure what to do at first, but then he squeezed her tightly onto his chest, stroking her hair with his fingers.

_They had caught every one of the kidnappers, except one, that they couldn't find anywhere upstairs. Interrogating the other ones hadn't helped; they had only refused to tell who the missing person was, saying that he probably had ran away. Falman called the police and after Mustang had checked that Claire was still ok, he ordered everyone except Hawkeye to stay and watch the villains while he and she went to check the garden, just in case._

"_I don't think anyone will be there, the man probably left from the house when he realized we were here. But still, we have to check out."_

"_Yes, sir, you are right."_

_They walked to the big garden. It was colorful and there were beautiful butterflies flying around the exotic flowers. Riza smiled at herself and Roy made comments about the garden, while they walked through it. Then it happened. Riza saw something move behind a tree. Roy didn't seem to notice he was just taking a step forward when Hawkeye heard a voice she would recognize anywhere. It was the sound of putting the gun's safety lock off. A simple "click", before deathly pull of the trigger._

_She didn't have time to think, she knew she couldn't let anything happen to him, for him she would give her everything. She pushed her superior on the ground just before the bullet hit him, the shooter hitting her instead. She felt a bullet going through her stomach, then another one critically close to her heart, probably hitting her lungs._

_She gasped, the world going black for a second. Then she could see flames going through the air. The Colonel was acting fast. He was alright. Thank god. She felt too weak, her legs gave up and then she couldn't stay awake anymore, her eyes closed, the last thing she recalled before blacking out strong arms around her._

"I am so freaking…scared…"

"It's ok…"

"Roy, I…I don't want to die…not yet…"

"You won't die. I promise."

"But they are here…they want me…don't let them take me!"

Now Hawkeye was letting it all out totally forgetting her usual stern mask, sobbing loudly. Her fingers were white as they squeezed his blue jacket as hard as they could, like Roy was the only thing keeping her alive. She fought against the need to close her eyes and stopped talking, as her strength was getting out of her. Roy held her and blinked as he felt tears trying to find his own onyx eyes. He wouldn't cry. She was still alive.

Fuery was biting his lip against tears and Havoc was patting his back, looking terrified himself. Then Breda rushed out of the house to the garden.

"Chief! The doctor is here!"

Redhead's face twisted as he saw Hawkeye's state.

"Oh dear god…"

A/N: So…what do you think? Was Riza OOC? I hope not…well she's practically dying so that would explain it… Wait for the next chapter to see what the doctor can do…or can't. Ha hah, I am mean, I know. Reviews are much loved!


	6. Leaving the garden

Disclaimer: No, I don't own FMA, if I did, do you really think I would write fan fiction?

A/N: Hi, I am so sorry it took me so long to write this chapter, but here it is now. And thank you for all of you who have reviewed the story this far, or put alerts. They make me really happy.

**Chapter six: Leaving the garden**

Doctor finally run to Hawkeye and the rest of the group. He was a tall young man with inky blue eyes, short brown hair and white jacket. His face twisted in worry when he saw his patient's state.

"Oh dear…what happened to her?"

"She was shot twice."

Lieutenant bit her lip looking embarrassed; she forced herself to stop her crying. She might just have cried in front of her co-workers and her boss, but they were her dear friends too, people who she had known for years. Still there was no way she could give up her pride so totally that she would let someone else see her in so helpless and fragile state, not even if she was dying. So she stopped, but her fingers were still squeezing Roy's jacket, not letting go.

Her face was now almost white and there was blood on her lips, like small rubies that stood up with their dark color. Her forehead was sweating and her eyes that were little red from crying were burning. She was just nearly awoke, soft embrace of darkness waiting for her to fall all the time. Roy was holding her so, that she was in a half sitting position. That way there wasn't so much blood in her mouth and it was, though she wouldn't admit it, giving her a safer feeling, feeling of love when being hold like that in his arms. It almost gave her a feel that he wouldn't let her fade away.

"Ok, now I will lift your shirt, ok?"

Doctor spoke with a soft, though trembling voice, obviously trying not to show his nervousness to them. He didn't know he couldn't keep it a secret, they were soldiers all and three of them had gone through Ishval. They knew far too well what it sounded like when someone said to their dying comrade: It is ok; it's just a small wound. That's why Mustang's arm suddenly got tighter in her waist and the doctor had to ask him hold her a little gentler.

He left the hem of her black turtleneck shirt that was wet from all of her blood that had been bleeding without an end since she was shot. Mustang and Havoc who were the ones closest her gasped at the sight. Her creamy colored skin was covered with dark red liquid that was slowly running down her stomach. He lifted the hem some more and they could see a little hole, that one of a bullets size. From there the blood was bubbling out, it was little more bright red, coming straight from the veins.

The doctor stretched out his finger to touch her wound and she cursed under her breath. He run his finger around the wound and examined the damage. Then he lifted her shirt again, so that it was almost all the way up. There, where her lungs were was another, bigger wound. The bullet had scratched her side when it went through her flesh. Smell of the blood was now more evident and young Fuery had already gone backwards few steps. Hawkeye felt like wanting to faint.

Blood was way too familiar sight to her; she had seen hundreds of men falling down covered by blood. In Isval, it was one of the things she remembered most clearly. The suffocating heat, the sand that was everywhere, the screams, the blood…no. No she wouldn't think it now, not again. It was just so hard to focus, when the pain was making her brains feel foggy.

"Now, would you please help me Colonel Mustang, we have to get these bandages on her, they will make the bleeding slow down."

"Yes."

Roy's voice was weak as he lifted Riza in his arms so, that the doctor could get the white bandages around her slim body. When they were finished the doctor stood up and wiped the blood away from his hands. Riza was focusing on breathing; she hadn't said anything for awhile.

"Now, we have to get her to my car. Then we can move to the hospital. But we can't move her much; we must go as steadily and fast as we can. I think it would be best if there were two persons would carry her."

"Yes, I will carry her and what about you Havoc?"

"Yes, sir."

Havoc slid his hands under Hawkeye's knees and Mustang held her under her hands, not daring to touch her wounded stomach. Then they started slowly walking towards the doctor's car, through the General's house. Hawkeye felt her eyes slipping closed…

A/N: So, here it was. Next chapter tells you what happens in the hospital. I know this was short and didn't have so interesting things in this, but this chapter was still necessary, so that after five chapters I could finally get her away from the garden…Wait for the next chapter!


	7. No right to give up hope

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, someone with much cooler drawing-style does.

A/N: Yes, this you have all waited, chapter seven. The ride to the hospital coming ahead…

**Chapter seven: No right to give up hope**

Hawkeye's lids closed, she didn't have any more power to keep them open. Roy cursed under his breath and the doctor took a gasp. Havoc looked like he seriously needed a cigarette.

"Don't let her sleep! Speak to her, keep her awake now."

The ink eyed doctor told the two men that were carrying the injured lieutenant. His voice was strained as he spoke.

"If she loses her consciousness…"

"Hawkeye! Hey, Lieutenant!"

Havoc was the first one of them to react to doctors words. The blond man started talking to Hawkeye with ordering voice, trying to gain her attention. They could only hope she was still awake.

"Hey, Hawkeye, if you hear me, say something! Say anything, Lieutenant."

She didn't say anything yet, but she moved her lips just slightly. That got Havoc more determined.

"Hawkeye, say something. Do you hear me?"

"…yes."

"Tell me something…um…what is your dog's name?"

"Black…Hayate…"

"Yeah, what color is he?"

"Black and…white."

Riza's voice was quiet and trembling as she answered. Barely more than a whisper. Her eyes stayed closed. It was clear that she was almost slipping away from them already, the lost of blood had done its task.

"Good, tell me…tell me what you do first when you come to work?"

"I…I get Colonel's…paperwork…"

"Good, what then?"

"I make…coffee…"

"How does Mustang drink his coffee?"

"One sugar…and…some milk…"

"Yeah, do you drink coffee?"

They now got inside the doctor's car and Roy and Havoc lifted Riza carefully, so that she was lying in between the two men. Her head rested on Mustang's lap and her legs on Havoc's lap. The young doctor was driving the car.

"No, I…drink tea."

"What kind of tea?"

"Lemon-tea…with spoon of…honey."

"Yeah…um…where do you see from your desk?"

"To the…Colonel's desk."

Havoc was almost smiling now, as he kept on asking simple questions from her to keep her awake. Roy had been quiet, almost too worried to speak. His left hands fingers were twirling Riza's blonde hair around them, working with instinct to calm both him and her. Normally Havoc would have teased him about it forever, but now he didn't bother.

"Where do you have extra gun in our workplace?"

"In the box… of my desk."

"Ok, so what color is your underwear?"

"Jean…"

"Yes?"

"Shut…up."

"Sorry, I am running out of questions here…"

"Stop…explaining…"

"Hey, Chief, ask something."

"Me…Hawkeye, what food do you hate?"

"I hate…surprise-soup…of the cafeteria…"

"What are your favorite flowers?"

This time Hawkeye didn't answer. She just took a deep breath and coughed. A fresh stain of blood came on her lips. Mustang and Havoc changed a gaze. Everything had been going so well they had almost forgotten how bad her state really was. She kept on coughing and turned paler.

The doctor was driving as fast as he could, but he was still afraid that the patient lying on the backseat would fade away before they could even get to the hospital. He could hear her coughs and looked at the backseats from the mirror.

"Colonel Mustang, could you look at her bandages?"

"Yes, of course."

Havoc tapped Hawkeye's leg soothingly as her breathing came little steadier, since she stopped coughing. Mustang lifted the hem of her shirt to check the bandages. They had been white as snow when they had put them on in the garden. Now they were turning to be dark red, as the blood trickled through them.

"I am no doctor Chief, but that doesn't look too promising."

"No…Are we there soon Doctor?"

"Still some time to go, but soon."

Roy gritted his teeth. He felt so powerless. Why couldn't he do anything?

"Hey Hawkeye, are you still with us?"

The sharpshooter stayed quiet and Havoc cursed before trying again.

"Hey Lieutenant, give me a sign, please."

No reaction.

"Hawkeye, Riza, please, anything is good enough. Please, be awake."

No matter what the second lieutenant said the blonde woman had already lost her consciousness and didn't move at all. Her face was white and sweaty, the look on her face almost peaceful. Mustang felt his heart sinking as he watched her lying on his lap. When she didn't move at all, she looked like she was dead. He shivered. It was his entire fault. He closed his eyes.

"Chief."

"What is it Havoc?"

"Don't look like that."

"Excuse me?"

Mustang opened his sad onyx eyes to face Havoc's baby blue-ones. Those were looking steely on the moment.

"You look like she will die."

Mustang raised his right black eyebrow.

"Don't look like that. Letting go doesn't fit you. If you don't believe she survives, then how can anyone do that? She is still here, Chief."

Havoc's voice was hard, serious. His eyes flashed as he looked his superior straight into eyes.

"We are the ones who caused this. That is why, Mustang that is why we have no rights to give up hope as long as her heart is beating."

"…yes, I guess you are right."

"Of course I am. And I really need a cigarette."

Havoc answered rubbing his forehead. Roy took deep breath and brushed Hawkeye's cheek. She felt cold.

"Ok, now I can see the hospital already, get ready to leave the car."

The doctor's voice was relieved, like the white building before them was able to do miracles. Well the men in the car really hoped that that was the case. The car speeded and they finally arrived to the hospital's doors. The doctor stopped the car and jumped out of it.

"Wait one minute, I will get the stretcher here, then we will get her inside."

He ran inside the hospital, leaving Mustang and Havoc to the car with unconscious Lieutenant.

"Don't worry Riza, you will be ok."

A/N: I am so happy, I got to use Havoc. I haven't had many changes to that in my other stories yet. He is really such a sweet guy. And we finally got to the hospital…wonder what will happen? Can the doctor help? Still few more chapters to go.


	8. The worst is waiting

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA and sadly, I don't think I ever will.

A/N: It is chapter eight already…

**Chapter eight: The worst is waiting**

The doctor came out of the white building with two paramedics, who were carrying stretcher. Roy and Havoc came out of the car and helped the paramedics to put Hawkeye on the stretcher. When lying there she looked so small and little helpless, a sight that no one ever would have believed to see, when talking about the stoic first lieutenant.

"Ok, let's go. We have to wait just a little bit before we can get to the operating room. Those wounds have to be sewed."

"Where will she be until then?"

Mustang asked the tall brown-haired doctor as they walked quickly inside the hospital.

"Well, apparently your subordinates have arranged her private room."

Havoc's lips curled up and Mustang suddenly felt grateful for having such a well working team. The hospital's lobby didn't have many people in it, since it was four at the morning. There was a woman with sobbing child curled to her chest, few nurses and a man with a concerned look on his face. Havoc's head followed the nurses, but their eyes were clued onto a familiar Colonel walking beside him. Mustang didn't even bother to look at them, his eyes saw no one else than his loyal lieutenant on the moment.

They walked along the hospital corridor and then the doctor stopped before a white door, which had a black number 123 painted on it. They went inside the room. There was only one bed, nightstand, white walls, blue curtains and big window. There was also a small bathroom.

The paramedics put Hawkeye on the bed and asked the doctor for orders.

"Go and get a nurse here and tell to inform us immediately when the operation room is ready."

"Yes, Doctor Smith."

Paramedics then left the room and the doctor turned to Mustang and Havoc.

"We will make her a surgery as soon as the operation room is free. You can wait here if you want, until then."

"Yes."

Both men immediately answered and the doctor nodded. The door was opened and a motherly looking brunette came inside.

"Good morning, Anna."

"Good morning Dc. Smith."

Nurse's blue eyes caught the sight of the patient and she shivered.

"Oh, poor thing!"

She started to wipe away the blood stains from Hawkeye's lips and she brushed her blonde locks from her forehead. Her movement was stopped for a second and then she opened a small box she had brought with her. She took a needle out of the box, filled it with a dark liquid and then pressed the needle through Hawkeye's skin.

"What are you doing?"

"I am giving her some medication against the pain."

Nurse called Anna answered and took the needle away. She then checked Hawkeye's bandages and shook her head. What was once white was now dark red with a hint of brown. The bandages were soaked and it seemed that they barely made the bleeding slow down.

"Dc, Shall I change her bandages before the operation, or do you think we should just wait?"

"I think, Anna that we shall wait. The operation room will be ready soon."

Doctor Smith answered. Roy and Havoc could only stare at their friend, who was lying on her back, eyes closed, pale as a corpse. Only thing that showed she was still alive was the small movement of her chest as she breathed.

"If Fuery was here, he would vomit."

Havoc's voice had a funny note in it, he sounded like he was trying to struggle against hysteria. Which he probably was. He let out a little chuckle. The doors were opened and a nurse with a mask on her face rushed in.

"The operation room is ready, doctor."

"Good. We shall be going then."

The nurse nodded and came to help Anna. They started pushing the bed away from the room without a word.

"Umm, doctor, Smith, how long do you think…"

"I can't say anything yet, but I must warn you. Since she has lost so much blood and had bullets in critical places, I cannot promise she'll survive through the operation. I am sorry, I need to go now. You can go to the waiting room."

Then the ink-eyed doctor was gone too and Mustang and Havoc were left alone in Hawkeye's room. The men exchanged a look and Mustang ran his hand through his midnight black locks.

"Well, I guess all we can do then is waiting."

Mustang stated the obvious. Havoc nodded.

"Let's go and find the waiting room."

"Yeah."

They walked away from the hospital room and found their way to the waiting room with the help of a flirty blonde nurse.

"Are you ok now, or do you _need something_?"

The nurse flashed a smile and blinked her blue eyes.

"No thank you. Unless you have some more information of Miss Hawkeye, you can go."

Mustang answered and even Havoc, who usually would have been drooling his mouth open at the sight of the nurse just nodded. The woman looked insulted, but left them alone walking away moving her hips flirtatiously.

Mustang and Havoc sat down to two brown plastic-chairs and for awhile they just were there in silence. Then Havoc started twisting in his chair and soon Mustang opened his mouth.

"You know, you probably should go and have your damn cancer-stick right now."

"Thanks Chief. Are you sure you…"

"Just go. You're making me want to snap."

So Havoc walked away, happy to finally have his cigarette. It would make him be little less tense. Hopefully. And even if it wouldn't, he really didn't want to be burned into a toast because of his irritated and heart-broken superior. He should probably also call Fuery, the boy was surely crying his eyes out of his head from worry. Yeah, that he should do.

Mustang couldn't do anything except stare at the white door. He wanted to rush inside and see if they could help her. He wanted to go and hold her small, calloused hand in his own and never let go. He had never, not even in Ishval, felt this useless. All he could do was wait and hope. Hope that she would survive. Hope that his only thought wouldn't soon be "how can I perform human transmutation?". He truly hoped so. Waiting was the worst.

A/N: sorry, this chapter was little _slow_, if you get what I mean... I have _something_ planned for the next chapter that will probably affect her state, but for better or worse, I'm not telling… wait and see, what will happen in the surgery!


	9. Anything for her too

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, or get any money from writing this story.

A/N: So, have you been waiting? Here comes chapter 9. Enjoy.

**Chapter nine: Anything for her too**

Mustang stared at the white doors in front of him, looking like it was the center of the universe he was looking at. Well, a small voice inside him told, that maybe just maybe that really was the case for him. After all behind those closed doors was someone who he owned his life, someone important, someone who he…yes, he was scared to admit it, but it was the truth, someone who he _loved_. And that precious person was there, dying.

Mustang put his right hand to his pocket and played absentmindedly with his silver pocket watch. The cold metal had surprisingly calming effect on his nerves. He forced himself to stay where he was, telling to himself that she would be ok. That it wouldn't help her if he panicked there. He took a deep breath.

Jean Havoc had finally got his cigarette and was now making his way towards the waiting room, so that he could make sure his superior officer was still in his senses. Then he noticed a phone on the wall and realized what he had been planning to do before leaving out for his cigarette.

He walked to the telephone and called to a familiar number. His call was answered immediately.

"_Kain Fuery speaking."_

His voice was small, little trembling, like he was waiting for bad news.

"Hey Fuery, how are you?"

"_Lieutenant Havoc? Are you in the hospital? I called there, but since I wasn't Hawkeye's family, they didn't tell me anything…"_

Young man talked fast, panic in his voice was evident. Havoc sighed. He was happy he had called. Poor boy was clearly in shock.

"Hey, slow down buddy. Yes we are in the hospital. Have been for awhile now."

"_How is she? Is she still alive?"_

His voice trembled with the last word.

"Yes, she is alive…but…"

Havoc bit his lip. It was horrible to bring bad news.

"_Oh…"_

"She had two bullets in her body near critical places. When we went to the car, she was still awake, but it didn't take too long before she fainted. You…you wouldn't want to see what her bandages were like. The bleeding…it just didn't stop. She is in the operation room now, but the doctor said that…he said that they can't guarantee she survives."

There was a small gasp in the other end of line.

"_How is the Colonel?"_

"He is afraid, obviously. He just stares at the door in the waiting room and snaps at anyone that dares to speak at him. And the nurses like him still. I don't get ladies. I mean, I am friendly, handsome, I wear uniform often…he doesn't even look at them! Just last week Grace from…"

"_Umm, Havoc, are you going to stay there? Should I be there too?"_

Fuery interrupted.

"Yeah, I will stay. I don't think you should come right now. The operation will probably take lot of time still and the Colonel is a mess. I will call you if something happens. Could you call Falman and Breda?"

"_Yes, of course. I will do it right away. Take care of Colonel."_

"Yeah, oh and Fuery, good job with the room."

"_Thank you. Though it was more Falman's doing, he made the call."_

"Ok, well thank him. Bye."

Havoc closed the phone and started to make his way towards the waiting room. He found Mustang sitting on the same brown plastic-chair where he had been while Havoc had left.

"Hey Chief. Has there been any news?"

"Nothing."

Roy's face was pale, his dark eyes never leaving the door. Havoc sat beside him.

"She'll be ok Chief. I mean, she is _Hawkeye_. She is strong."

"Of course."

Both of the men knew that then words couldn't affect the fate, but they really tried. They tried to chase the shadows away with simple words. Because when the silence filled the air, it was suddenly so much easier to lose your faith.

"I called Fuery."

"Oh…was he ok?"

"He was scared. I told him to stay home and call Falman."

"Good job, Havoc."

They tried to hold on a conversation, but too soon they fell in silence. Then Havoc spotted a coffee machine on the corner of the room. He then brought cups of coffee for both him and Mustang. The guy looked like he needed the caffeine, he thought. Mustang thanked him and stared at his cup for awhile before drinking. It was funny, he thought, how the coffee made him think of her. She brought him coffee every single morning same time as she brought him his day's paperwork. It was always perfect. Only she could make as good coffee. This over bitter liquid wasn't half as good.

It was thirty long minutes of silence before something happened. The doors opened and a petite blonde nurse with green eyes and wearing a mask in front of her mouth came out. She closed the white doors so quickly that neither Mustang nor Havoc could see what was happening behind them in the operation room. Mustang jumped up from his chair as soon as he saw her. Havoc also stood up, eager to get information.

"How is she? Is she alright?"

The petite nurse took a breath before talking with a soft voice.

"Ms. Hawkeye's operation isn't over yet. Calm down gentlemen."

"_Calm down?"_

Roy's voice was deathly and he gave the nurse a glare. Havoc was slightly frightened. He hadn't taken Mustang's gloves away. They were bloody, he wasn't wearing them anymore, that was true, but he always had a _dry_ pair in his pocket, just in case…

"How can you say…?"

"Chief, let her speak."

"Other one of the bullets, the one that was in her stomach has been removed."

"Are they removing the other now?"

Something flashed in her eyes and she took a tiny moment before answering, like she was hesitating how to tell her news.

"They try to do that. The bullet has hit her lungs and she has inner bleeding…it is not sure yet, if they can remove it without making more damage."

"What you mean more damage?"

The nurse didn't answer the question. Instead she changed the subject.

"Does Ms. Hawkeye have any family?"

"She lives with her dog. Her parents are both death and she doesn't have a husband or siblings."

"So there are no people that should be informed?"

"No, we are the only ones. We will tell her other friends too."

The nurse nodded and put a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I am sorry, but right now I can't give you more information. You will just have to wait and see how the operation goes. If something major happens, someone will let you know. "

"Thank you."

Havoc said. The nurse turned to go back, but then Roy touched her hand.

"…Please, don't let her die."

His voice was deep and pleading. The blonde turned around and took an eye contact.

"We are doing everything we can."

Then she was gone. Mustang and Havoc both sat down again and Havoc looked at Roy worriedly. The man was clearly feeling desperate. He wondered what would happen if she didn't survive. Would Mustang follow her? He knew that she definitely didn't wish that. And he himself couldn't figure a better man to one day lead them all. Roy Mustang was maybe known as a playboy, but Havoc knew he would do anything for their team and his dream. He would literally _die_ for them. Havoc wondered if the dream of his, of their all would die with her. He shivered. No, she couldn't…

The silence was torturing but neither one of the men said anything at all. Only voice in the waiting room was the clock ticking on the wall. Tick, tock, tic, tack… minutes went away, changing slowly into one hour. Only moment when any movement was made was when nurse walked through the room. Then Mustang and Havoc practically jumped on her. Too bad she didn't have any information of the patient.

Havoc was half sleeping in his brown chair and Mustang kept on staring at the doors. Then finally, they opened. It was the same petite nurse as before.

"Hello, gentlemen. I have some news to you now."

Her voice was emotionless and her green eyes were someway cold. That made the men froze in their chairs. Havoc carefully decided to speak.

"What is it? Is the lieutenant ok?"

"They have now removed the second bullet."

"Well, that's good, right?"

Mustang just stared at her, his onyx eyes large as with a child. It felt like she was talking way too slow, like she was moving in water.

"We…Ms. Hawkeye will be moved to her room now. Doctor Smith wants to speak with you."

"Sure, will he come here or..?"

"Yes, he will be here soon."

The white doors behind her opened fully. From the operate room there became two nurses, both dressed in white and having masks on. They were pushing a hospital bed with a small figure lying on it. Roy felt his stomach twisting. Her blonde hair was cascading to the white pillow, her eyes were closed and she didn't move at all. The scene was so wrong. She didn't belong there.

He didn't even notice he had stepped towards her before Havoc pulled him backwards from his arm, so that he didn't get to the nurses way. They took her away, heading to her room. Havoc gave his arm a press and when he looked into his baby blue eyes they looked so worried he had to look away.

They waited only couple minutes before the doctor came out from the operation room. He immediately started to speak.

"I have news for you."

"What are they?"

Mustang's voice was little more than a whisper.

"Do you want good or bad first?"

"Bad."

"Very well, then I shall tell you. I will be completely honest with you. We are not very hopeful. Her internal organs have been damaged by the inner bleeding and the wounds are serious. It is not likely that she stays alive."

Havoc was staring at the doctor, looking like he didn't understand. He had never in his whole life needed a cigarette so much. Mustang was frozen. The words were repeated in his head dozens of times._ It's not likely that she stays alive._ His whole world was coming crashing down, his heart beating loud, like a drum of despair.

"And…the good news?"

"I don't think she suffers that much. We have given her medication and if…when she wakes up she can have painkillers. She doesn't have to be in pains."

The doctor's voice had a melancholic note in it. His voice didn't bring them any help to their already beginning sorrow. Mustang sank to his chair closing his eyes. They were beginning to get wet. Oh, how he wanted to burn down something… He blinked, trying to keep himself calm.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes. I am going that way too."

"I will come too."

Havoc joined in. His voice was trembling. Three men walked to Hawkeye's private room. There she was lying, pale as snow, looking peaceful on the hospital bed. Her breathing was hard. Mustang and Havoc sat beside her bed, to two wooden chairs. Mustang carefully took her hand and squeezed it softly. Her hand was cold.

"Doctor, how long do you think…"

"It is hard to say. She has a strong heart, so it can be a week, but it can also be only day or so. It depends much from how her lungs are working. The bullet scratched them and caused damage, which will make her breathing harder."

Only couple days…Mustang wanted to cry.

"Please, Doctor, isn't there even something that could save her? Anything… it doesn't matter what. Something that could safe her?"

The ink eyed doctor stared at him for couple seconds and then something chanced in his eyes. The sadness was gone, replaced with something more hopeful.

"Actually, there might be a way to safe her. You are the flame alchemist, right?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready to danger yourself for her?"

"I'll do anything for her. I can't live without her watching my back."

"Good…then let me tell you something…"

A/N: This chapter was long. I am sorry, hospital scenes are NOT my specialty, and I wish you didn't find them too badly written. I also don't know very many medical things, but I will try my best. And the _something_ let's just say I didn't get to do what I planned, yet. It will happen in the next chapter. I know, I am irritating, but I just _had to_ write this chapter first…


	10. Story of a miracle

Disclaimer: I do not own the amazing thing called FMA.

A/N: Ha, I finally got to do what I wanted…I am quite exited. I really hope you like this chapter. Enjoy.

**Chapter ten: Story of a miracle**

"I am not exactly sure about if this is an urban legend, or the truth, so I can't promise this helps you."

"Whatever it is, please, tell us."

"Fine. I will tell you a short story. Few years ago a patient was brought to this hospital. He was a young man with a deathly disease. He was sick with Amestris-fever, you know what it is, right?"

"Yes. A disease where the patient first has a high fever, then he starts to get red boils on his body and finally forgets things like his or her love ones. Normally patients die in one or two weeks. There was an epidemic five years ago where lot of people died, but then the doctors figured out a medication for it and it almost wholly disappeared."

Mustang answered. Then he nodded the doctor to continue.

"Yes, exactly. It was a painful disease, caused a lot of problems for us. Well, anyways, he was having it and when he was brought to the hospital, he was already in really bad condition, his body covered with red marks. The doctors thought that he would live only two days. The young man had a wife. She was a pretty lady and she was desperate. So she was like all the other family members who were afraid for their loved ones. Or so the doctors thought. See, she was an alchemist. She didn't work for the state, but she was an alchemist."

"Alchemist?"

Mustang was getting even more curious.

"Yes, she was. And when she was notified that all the hospital could do was to give her husband sedatives and painkillers, that nothing else could be done, she decided that she would do anything to help her husband to survive. She left the hospital without a word and the doctors thought that she simply couldn't take it to stand there and watch her husband die without remembering her name. They thought she wanted to go to her parents or so, that she didn't want to see him anymore. Then when two days went and the doctors knew he only had couple hours left, she came back. She was having a back bag with her and determinate look on her face. She asked the doctors if she could have one hour with him, all alone. The doctors didn't want to stop her, after all there was nothing they could do for him and if this was what the young, soon-to-be-widow wanted, they didn't have heart to stop her."

"So they let her have one hour. What happened then?"

Mustang squeezed Hawkeye's hand harder. He so much hoped this story would help her.

"After one hour the door from the man's room was opened. The girl came out, looking exhausted, and like she would faint at any moment…then the doctors almost fainted themselves. The man who was supposed to die in few hours was now supporting her and walking beside her. He didn't have red marks on his face anymore nor did he look so weak. The girl's breathing was shaky, but she smiled, that kind of smile that tells you "I have a secret". The doctors asked her what had happened, they were pleading for her to tell what she had done to cure the man. Neither one told what had happened during the hour. The girl just smiled, it was like that was all she had power left to do and the man said "It was a miracle from my angel. Alchemy is an amazing thing.""

Havoc's eyes were huge and Mustang was thinking feverishly.

"Then the couple left the hospital without looking back. I came to the hospital one year after that and they were still talking about it. No one ever got to know what happened, only thing we know about the couple is, their names."

"So, she saved her husband. And she did it with alchemy."

"So the story goes."

"Can you tell her name for me?"

"Hope Clearwater."

"Do you know where she lives?"

"No one knows."

Mustang stood up and let go of Hawkeye's hand.

"Havoc!"

"Yes, sir?"

"I want you to go and call Fuery. I will call to Falman and Breda. Tell him to find out where Hope Clearwater lives. Say that I will call him soon."

"Yes, Chief."

"And Havoc…after you have called him, stay with her. This is an order."

After he had said that Mustang rushed out of the room. Havoc also stood up from his chair and smiled.

"Thank you Dc."

"I hope you find her and that she can help you. Good luck."

Havoc left the room and went to call Fuery. Same time Mustang was calling Breda and Falman. No one of them knew about the woman, but all of them promised to find out. Havoc went back to Hawkeye's room where she was still lying on the bed. He sat beside her and examined her face.

Riza's porcelain face was sweaty and her breathing rapid, her lungs were having hard time. She looked like a doll, blonde hair cascading to the pillow, red lips open, so that she could breathe better, dark eyelashes like two fans somehow making her cheekbones more evident. Havoc prayed in his mind that Mustang could somehow safe her.

"Hello, Breda. Have you got information?"

"_We have found her address. Do you have pen and paper?"_

"Yes, go on, tell me."

"_Ok, Chief, it is Shadow Street 7, Central near the train station. It is a yellow house and in the downstairs there is a shop."_

"Thank you. Call Falman and Fuery and tell I already have the information."

"_I will. Good luck, Chief."_

"Thank you."

Mustang then run to Hawkeye's room.

"Is the doctor where, Havoc?"

"He just left. Maybe two minutes ago."

"Damn."

Mustang then started to look for the ink eyed doctor. Soon he found him from the hallway.

"Doctor!"

"Colonel Mustang, how can I help you?"

"I need your car."

"You need my car?"

"Yes, my own is still at the General White's house."

The doctor took car keys from his pocket and gave them to Mustang.

"It is in the parking lot next to the main doors."

"Thank you."

A/N: This chapter wasn't so long, but I had fun writing this. In the next chapter we shall see what happens at the alchemist's house. Could she help Hawkeye? Please, review and tell me what you thought!


	11. Equivalent exchange

Disclaimer: As you all know, I don't own FMA

A/N: This chapter starts in Clearwater's shop. Roy took Dc. Smith's car, remember? I am so proud, by the way…three chapters in three days!

**Chapter eleven: Equivalent exchange **

"Good day, sir, how can I help you?"

Asked a blonde lady with big grey eyes and heart shaped face. She was looking maybe little younger than thirty years old. She flashed a friendly smile from behind a wooden desk and cash register. She was wearing a white blouse and her blonde, curly hair was cascading down, just barely reaching her shoulders.

"Are you Hope Clearwater?"

"Yes, I am. Did you have something you want?"

"I heard a story."

"Oh, what kind of story might that be?"

"It is a story of alchemist who saved her husband, who was supposed to die in few hours."

Hope's eyes narrowed and her smile became less friendly.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. I was wondering if you were that woman."

"Even if I was, why would you be interested? Are you one of _those_? I can tell you sir, that I have no intention to become a dog of the state."

Mustang sighed inside his mind. So she was one of the military-haters. Just great.

"I might be a "dog" but I will not ask for that. I just need to know, please tell me, how did you safe your husband?"

"I am not interested in telling that to you."

Her voice was poisonous, defending.

"Please, Mrs. Clearwater, I beg you, tell me. I need to know."

"Why would you need to know? To get your state-alchemist exam more impressing?"

"Because someone precious to me is dying."

Hope's face came to be little gentler, but she didn't look like she was entirely ready to believe him.

"Who might that be?"

"My lieutenant. Please, help me. I can't just let her die. You're an alchemist, so you know what they say…"alchemists are for the people.""

"_Her_?"

"Yes, her. She is a woman."

Something changed in Hope's gaze. She looked thoughtful.

"Well, Mister, please tell me, what are you ready to do for her sake?"

"I'll do anything. I won't let her die."

"Are you sure about that? Sure, that your feelings won't change in couple weeks, or months?"

"I am. And if I can't help, I'm not sure there will be couple weeks for me."

"Fine. Wait a minute."

Hope walked to the door of the little grocery shop and turned a sign on the door, so that it had a text "Closed" instead of "Open". Then she walked to the room behind the shop.

"Follow me, Mr.…"

"Roy Mustang."

Hope's eyebrows jumped up at his name.

"Mustang, as the Flame alchemist?"

"Yes."

She opened her mouth to say something, but decided to stay quiet instead. She led Roy upstairs and there to a small, but cozy kitchen.

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you."

Hope started to make coffee for them and took some chocolate-biscuits to the table. Mustang looked around him. There was nothing that could have shown signs of alchemy. It looked just like normal kitchen, no arrays anywhere. He took a biscuit and found himself guilty. Here he was waiting for coffee as Riza was lying on a hospital bed. He had ordered Havoc to stay with her, but it didn't comfort him that much.

"Could you please start telling what you did already? I wouldn't want to stay away too long."

Hope let out a chuckle and nodded.

"Eager, aren't we? You remind me of myself couple years ago. Funny, thinking that you're older than me."

She then sighed and her voice took a more serious note.

"Yes, so five years ago my husband was having Amestris-fever. I had been an alchemist only two years then. I had been married with him for one year. I took him to the hospital, naively thinking the doctors could make him better, that they could cure him from a decease no one had survived. They told me that there was nothing they could do. I was desperate. I just thought things like "I am too young to be a widow. I can't let him die." So I decided, if the doctors couldn't help, there had to be something that could do. I was an alchemist. If people could try to do human transmutation even when they knew it was forbidden, why couldn't I try something? My husband wasn't dead yet. So I went home and for almost two days I gathered all the information I could and found something interesting."

"What was it?"

"It was an extremely rare way of alchemy, a thing that was dangerous to the alchemist and that had been used only few times. You as an alchemist know the law of equivalent exchange. In this alchemic reaction you have to use your own life force as something to give."

"Your life force? Is that even possible?"

"Yes, but as you can guess, it is dangerous, difficult and when used, you lose a part of your time. For example I, I think I will live three years less than I would if I hadn't saved him. Are you sure you still wish to try to do this?"

"I am a soldier. I can't be sure if I live to see my fortieth birthday. Few years that I might not even use don't mean that much. If this is what will safe her, then so be it."

Mustang answered. He had made her life to be in danger so many times it was only fair. If she would die, what use would he have for his years? They would all be lonely. Hope continued speaking while she got cup of coffee for both of them.

"I still have the pictures of the circles saved. You have to draw two, one on your skin, and one on hers. I read that using blood as the ink is most effective, but I used regular ink with iron dust. It doesn't take as much mess. The circles will have to be exactly in the same place with both of you. If they aren't, then it won't work. And I almost forgot…what exactly is it with her? A decease? "

"No. She was shot twice. Her lungs are giving up and she has two critical wounds."

Hope started to look pale.

"It was a mission. They haven't promised her much time. The biggest time they said would be one week, but it can be only one day as well."

"I see. Has she been awake?"

"Not for awhile."

"She will have to. It is important, that both, the alchemist and the patient are conscious. This doesn't depend only from the alchemist. The patient has to focus on staying awake for at least fifteen minutes, or part of her life force might go as a payment too. The preparations are quick, but the process is slow and takes a lot of power from you."

"It doesn't matter. Are you sure it has to be fifteen minutes?"

"Yes. No more, but no less. So, when you are ready to start, you must activate the circles. You will have to focus. When you start, you will feel your life force leaving you. You have to control it, like you would control your flames. If you lose your control, it can kill you; take all of your force away."

"How do I know when it has been enough?"

"You will see it yourself. In my husband's case the red marks on his face slowly disappeared. Then the fever started to go away…you will see if it has effect."

Hope smiled at her memory.

"So, you are sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes. I don't think there are any more options. Could you give me the circles?"

"Of course."

A/N: So, I hope you like how my plot is going on… There wasn't any Hawkeye in this chapter, I'm sorry, but I promise she will be in the next chapter.


	12. Promise

Disclaimer: As I have said twelve times with this story, I do not own FMA. Sad, I know.

A/N: Hi, here comes the chapter 12, it's mainly focused on Hawkeye and it's not so long, but…enjoy.

**Chapter twelve: Promise **

Havoc had almost fallen asleep in his chair, his head down and his eyelids struggling to stay up. A night without any sleep, except for ten minutes and fearing for someone's life had that kind of effect. That's why he jumped in his chair at hearing a voice. Hawkeye was coughing loudly.

Havoc opened his baby blue eyes wholly and looked worriedly at her. Hawkeye's whole body was shaking and she looked like she was suffocating. Havoc hurriedly moved up from his chair and sat on her bed. He carefully lifted the Lieutenant's body so that she was half-sitting. Her amber eyes were opened and she gasped for air. She slowly calmed down and her hand squeezed his arm tightly, still shaking. Havoc draw soothing circles on her back with his other hand.

"Are you ok?"

He immediately felt stupid for asking that. When someone is having deathly injuries, then she usually isn't "Ok".

"I…where are we?"

"In the hospital. Doctor Smith drove us here. They did you a surgery."

"Yes…of course."

Her eyes were foggy and she felt weak. The room was spinning round and round… She found it difficult and she had to admit, painful to breathe. She had to take really deep breaths to get enough air. She blinked her eyes to make her vision clear up. She looked quickly around them and felt a different kind of pain in her chest.

"Havoc…where?"

He didn't have to ask what she meant. The tone of her voice, the scared look in her eyes told him everything.

"He left to meet someone who maybe could help you."

"Oh…when?"

"Maybe two hours ago. How are you feeling? Are you hurting?"

"I…Jean…I think this is…serious."

Her eyes were asking for him to tell what she already knew.

"You…the doctor said it is."

She bit her lower lip and hesitantly asked the question, her amber eyes filled with realization and a hint of sorrow. Havoc was afraid of what she was going to ask.

"How long?"

Havoc hoped he could just stay quiet. He knew he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to lie.

"He said that anything from one week to one day goes. Maybe few days more if your lungs…"

"Oh."

She let out a small confused laugh. That made her feel throbbing pain in her stomach. She bit her lip.

"Are you hurting?"

"Not much."

Havoc raised his eyebrow at her. He knew she didn't want to show how weak she was feeling.

"May I?"

Havoc lifted her hospital gown just a little bit, so that he could see the sewed wound. It looked red and the skin around it was dark shaded. He let go and looked at her pained eyes.

"Just hold on a little bit longer. I am sure he can help you. He won't just let you die."

Something flashed in her eyes, an emotion he couldn't recognize and she nodded.

"Of course he won't. He isn't like that."

She closed her eyes for awhile, just focusing on breathing.

"Havoc, can I…ask you a favor?"

"Yes."

"If I don't sur…"

"You will."

He said it with a desperate tone. She continued like she hadn't heard anything.

"Jean, if I won't survive, please, make sure that…the colonel won't… do anything stupid."

She opened her eyes and for a moment he saw the same fire in them that she used to have always burning. A fire, a will to do anything for _him_. He slowly nodded.

"I promise. But I except that I never have to do that."

She gave him a sad smile that almost broke his heart. Then she started coughing again. Her hands squeezed the blanket that covered her feet. Her face changed its color, into a white with pink on her cheeks. Her body twisted and as she continued coughing a small amount of blood came out of her mouth. Havoc looked at her horrified. He was about to raise and go to find a nurse. He stopped when Hawkeye grabbed his hand. He looked down at her and saw her amber eyes were shining with tears of pain.

"Jean…stay."

He sat down and held her hand until she stopped coughing. Then her eyes were closed and her body still. If Havoc hadn't seen her chest going up and down, heard her uneasy breathing, then he would have thought she was dead.

"_So will you give the circles to me?"_

"_Of course."_

Roy looked at the papers Hope had given her and wrinkled his nose. The circles were full of details; they would take some time to draw. And time was exactly what they didn't have. He thanked Hope and was about to leave when the blonde opened her mouth.

"Mustang…good luck. I hope she will be ok. If something happens, don't hesitate to call me."

"Thank you, Mrs. Clearwater. Good bye."

"Bye."

He ran down the stairs and out of the small shop. Then he hurried to the doctor's car, squeezing the drawings tightly in his hand.

A/N: This chapter was too short…sorry. I just wanted to get it published so that I could focus better in the upcoming hospital-scene and I didn't see it fitting to continue straight from this, thought I planned it to happen before starting to write this chap. Yeah…I try to update soon. Have a nice weekend everyone.


	13. Memory of a starry night

Disclaimer: Hmm...Let me think, do I own FMA? The answer is: No.

A/N: This is something you all have been waiting for…chapter 13. Will the number mean something? Or am I just trying to freak you out?

**Chapter thirteen: Memory of a starry night**

Hawkeye was sleeping, her face sweaty and pale. Havoc had sat beside her for three hours, fighting against sleep. He really wanted to go and have a cigarette. Too bad he couldn't. There was a nurse coming to look how she was doing twice in one hour. They had changed her bandages once and given her pain medication, but besides that there wasn't much to do. She stayed awake only couple minutes if she woke up. When she did, she was distant, maybe even fearful, though she didn't want to admit it. She was coughing a lot.

Havoc noticed a change on her expression, which had only seconds ago been peaceful. She looked as if she was in pains and her eyes moved behind her eyelids. She was dreaming, he guessed.

"No…no… it wasn't my fault…don't take him…"

She mumbled and her voice was full of panic.

"No!"

Her amber eyes opened and for couple of seconds she still seemed to be looking somewhere far. Havoc touched her shoulder and she shivered, looking at him.

"Nightmare, huh?"

"Yes, I was…never mind."

She coughed looking embarrassed. Her eyes were still haunted. Havoc knew that look. It was the look that could be seen in the eyes of the men and women who were scarred in Ishval, who had come home with killer's eyes, their souls heavy with guilt. It was a look that could still be seen on their faces after long sleepless nights they all still faced after all the years. He opened his mouth to ask, but was cut off by her.

"Is he still away?"

"Yeah, he is."

She nodded, but there was a hint of fear in her eyes. Havoc cursed inside his mind. It wasn't him who was supposed to sit by her bed; it wasn't him who could shake her mind out of the thoughts running through her head. Mustang should've been there.

"Ah…"

"What's wrong? Are you hurting?"

Hawkeye bit her lip. Throbbing pain was in her stomach, it was like someone had just hit her with hundreds of sharp needles. Every time she changed her position and sometimes even when she lied still she felt that pain.

"I just…shouldn't have moved. That's…all."

She gave him a tiny smile, trying to hide her new vulnerability. Havoc could see through it thought.

"I'll call the nurse. Maybe she can give you some painkillers."

"…thank you."

Havoc ringed a bell that was beside her bed and it didn't take long before a petite blonde nurse who he and Mustang had met previously came in.

"Is everything alright here?"

"She is having some pains, could you give her something?"

"Yes."

The nurse walked to them and gave a smile to Hawkeye.

"Good day Ms. Hawkeye. Nice to see you have woken up. I will give you pain medication through your vein from now on."

Riza nodded and the nurse took her hand, pressing a needle through her skin. She then attached the needle into a drip bag that was full of white liquid.

"The medicine should start to affect in ten minutes. Is there anything else I could do?"

"No, thank you."

"I'll leave you then. Just ring the bell if you need something."

The nurse then left the room leaving them alone. They stayed quiet and after few minutes she drifted into restless sleep. Havoc watched how the white liquid made its way to her arm and tapped a rhythm to the floor with his foot.

Mustang rushed inside the hospital and looked for Dc Smith. The ink eyed doctor was nowhere to be seen. He didn't have time to find him, so he just made his way towards Hawkeye's private room, not caring about the looks he got when he was almost running, squeezing few papers in his right hand and a bottle of blue ink in the left one.

When he came to the door of the room 123 he didn't bother knocking, he just pulled it open and rushed inside, making the blond second lieutenant jump up from his chair. Havoc's face was reserved before he saw who it was. Then he surprised them both by smiling.

"Hey Chief, did you find her?"

"I did. Havoc, I need you to do exactly what I say."

"Sure."

Roy studied face of his precious subordinate and felt little cold inside. She seemed so helpless, so innocent, like a child. The strongest woman he had ever known had turned into young girl. He suddenly could remember the girl he had known years ago, his Master's daughter. He remembered one night, one conversion he thought he had forgotten long time ago…

"_You know Mr. Mustang, this is nice."_

"_Yeah. It's a shame that Master is always keeping me in his study so long. If he didn't, we could do this more often."_

_Roy answered to the blonde girl sitting beside him. It was a Friday night and they were sitting in the garden of Hawkeye's house watching the stars and eating biscuits. He loved nights like this, being with his best friend._

"_I've been thinking, do you think my mother is a star?"_

_Riza asked with a dreamy like tone, her amber eyes thoughtful. Roy looked to the sky and thought about it._

"_Maybe she is."_

"_I hope so. You know, I'd love to be a star one day. They can see so many places and they shine so brightly. I have never been away from here."_

Mustang shivered. He had taken her away from the old house, but where had he led her? He had taken her to hot hell like desert to stain her hands. He had made her hide the girl he once knew behind icy walls. And finally, he had led her to the gates f death. If she died now, he would never forgive himself.

Roy touched her cheek slightly, put a sweaty strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"I won't let you turn into a star yet."

Then he took the ink bottle and put it to the nightstand beside her bed. He put the drawings to the bed and took her hand with his own. He took a quill pen and dipped it into the blue ink. Then he froze, remembering something.

"_I read it works best if you use blood as ink. But I used regular ink with iron dust."_

Blood…he didn't have time to get iron dust and he didn't want to risk anything by using only ink. He put the pen away and let go of her hand. He then went to the door and knocked.

"Havoc, are you still there? I trust you haven't gone to smoke your lungs off."

"I'm here Chief, what do you want?"

"Do you have your pocket knife with you?"

"Yeah."

"I need it."

Havoc opened the door with worried expression and gave his knife.

"I want it back; I got it from my ex."

"Yeah, of course."

He shut the door and Mustang walked to the bed again. He carefully pressed the knife to his thumb and watched as a drop of blood came up. He pressed the thumb, so that small amount of blood dropped inside the ink bottle. He then took the pen again and dipped it to the bottle. Pen's head was now looking violet from blue ink and red blood. It was time to start.

A/N: I hope the flashback didn't disturb the story; I just had to write it. Review please!


	14. The blue thread of hope

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, no matter how much I wish I would.

A/N: Hi everyone. First, I am so sorry it took me this long, but I wanted this to be perfect… **This is the final chapter!** Finally, you get to know if she survives…Now I'd love to thank every one of you who supported me and read this story this far. I hope you enjoyed it. Enjoy the last chapter!

**Chapter fourteen: The blue thread of hope**

Roy pressed the quill pen in his hand carefully on Hawkeye's pale skin. He started by drawing a small circle on her hand. He tried to keep his hand from shaking. If only one little spot was done wrong, it could affect the alchemic reaction and he couldn't risk doing that. So Roy breathed steadily and kept glancing at the papers that were lying on her side. He drew a tiny picture of flower; Hope had said it represented the life, as it was a growing, living thing. The color, blood and blue ink mixed made him remember the violets from her mother's grave all those years ago.

_Roy let her go of his embrace, trying not to look at the lonely tear on her cheek. He felt guilty; his words had made her cry. Instead he looked at the gravestone. _

"_We didn't bring any flowers, did we?"_

"_No."_

"_Do you remember her favorite flowers?"_

"_They were violets, blue violets."_

_Roy drew an array to the ground and then it was there, a bouquet of blue violets before a grave. He gently put the flowers resting against the white stone. _

"_Thank you."_

He really didn't want to bring those flowers to another grave. Roy shook his head to clear his thoughts. Then he continued, carefully drawing a line after line, filling the circle. He slowly put her hand down and started the harder part. He had to draw the circle to his hand too. It wouldn't be so easy. He focused as hard as he could and drew the circle.

After he had finished drawing the circle it was time to wake Riza up.

"Hawkeye…wake up."

He carefully shook her from her shoulders, making sure that he didn't move her too much, which could have caused her pain. The woman didn't make a move.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye…Riza…_wake up_."

"Yhnn…"

"Riza."

The blonde slowly opened her amber eyes he loved so. It took awhile before she could focus her gaze, but when she did; her eyes got some shine in them, even a tiny smile got into her face.

"Colonel…you came."

"Off course."

She coughed and when she was about to bring her hand to her face, Roy stopped her by grabbing her wrist. She raised her eyebrows. He just looked at the back of her hand, the circle that wasn't entirely dry yet. Her eyes widened and she looked back at him again.

"I am going to try something. It can save you."

"Alchemy?"

"Yes. I will change some of my living years to make you better."

"Colonel."

Her eyes were looking kind of guilty. He bit his lip. Off course she had to be blaming herself in a time like this…just great. She really didn't seem to understand.

"I can't accept that. I'm supposed to guard your life, not make it shorter."

"If you die, it will be ten times shorter than it would be like this. I will be dead right after your funeral."

"No!"

Her face had a look of pure horror. Then the expression was angry.

"Don't you dare…say that again…Mustang."

She hissed.

"I have not been protecting…you all these years…just to see you dying…because of one subordinate."

"How can you say that?"

Roy suddenly felt angry himself. Did she really think that was all he thought she was to him?

"It is the truth. Even if I'm dead, you have no permission to die! If I died, you…should continue to get your dream…I'm not your…only subordinate!"

"No, you're not. But you're the only one I love."

She blinked her eyes and opened her mouth slightly.

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"I love you. And that's why I'm not going to let you die, even if it cost my own life."

His onyx eyes were serious and his voice filled with emotion. He had just done the one thing no one had managed to do before. He had made Riza Hawkeye lost her calm features. She stared at his face, wondering if she really had heard him right, if this really wasn't just one of those dreams she had been seeing a moment ago. But it really had happened: Roy Mustang had confessed her.

"Colonel…"

"And, you know, it is ok, if you don't feel the same way, but even then, I won't let you argue about this."

He quickly added. Riza closed her eyes before answering.

"Roy…are you really sure about this?"

He loved the way his name rolled off her tongue, it was a shame he so rarely could hear it. He definetily would do anything to hear it again.

"Yes. So please, please, let me do this. If you trust me, let me do this."

His eyes were pleading, his voice steady. Slowly she nodded, though her eyes were full of worry, they still answered that she felt the same. And if you love someone enough, if you are loyal enough, you will not forbid anything from that one that was something she knew so very well. So if this was what he wanted, she wasn't going to argue. She hesitantly raised her hand (the one without circle) on his cheek, her fingers were cold, but he couldn't have minded less. The sensation of her skin against his was precious.

"Fine. Let's do it."

Roy smiled and brought her fingers on his lips and gave them a light kiss.

"Listen, this will take lot of power from me and in the beginning from you too. That is why it is extremely important, that you will stay awake at least fifteen minutes. Can you do it?"

"Yes, Sir."

Her voice was having the same stern tone as always before a mission. He was sure he could trust her word. He then took a deep breath and pressed the hand with circle to her hand and his other hand on his own focusing to start the alchemic reaction. A flash of blue light crossed the room.

Roy watched amazed how as soon as he had pressed his hand to the both circles, the one on his skin and the one on hers, there was a sparkling blue thread getting out of his body, from his chest to hers, pulsing at the same space as his heart. Riza had a look of focus on her amber eyes; she was determinate to stay awake, not letting her sickness get her. The focus almost slipped as she looked at the thread and felt the pulsing thread connecting her.

He had to gasp too as he felt how the thread affected him. He could feel how his force was moving away from his body. Then in one moment he closed his eyes pictures started flashing behind his lids. A pouting little girl with blonde hair. His master on his lap, dying. One of the ishvalans he had killed. Her eyes, tormented. His team, laughing. Her smiling at him. Hughes, showing pictures, then lying in his own blood. His aunty and the girls. Her, lying on his lap in the garden. His first apartment. Hayate as small puppy. Blonde girl with amber eyes, laughing…the pictures kept going and then he realized. He wasn't focusing on his alchemy. The pulsing blue thread was soon going to take too much of his life-force. He heard her whining; the force was going too fast for her body to take.

He opened his eyes and bit his lip. He slowed down the pulse of the thread connecting them, but it still wasn't fully in his control.

_I can't handle it anymore!_ He could feel the life running away from him, he could see how her mouth was open as though she was screaming, even when no voice escaped her mouth. He was afraid. Afraid that neither one of them would survive.

He focused so hard as he possibly could, trying to keep his onyx eyes open instead of losing his touch to this world, giving into the blackness. He took a shuddering breath.

With all the energy he still had in his body Roy forced the power from running, made the blue thread that was flooding from his body to his lieutenant's shatter. He heard a voice whispering inside his head: "I took five now, alchemist, but we will see soon…" Then everything went black.

()()()

Havoc was walking behind the door with an anxious expression. He really hoped everything was going well. He had only seen flashes of light coming from behind the door and just a moment ago he had heard a huge crush, which didn't really make him relaxed. He had been waiting way too long that day. And if the waiting would end with Hawkeye dying, well he certainly was sure he couldn't handle it. The Colonel couldn't. Then, suddenly he heard the doorknob turning…

The door opened revealing a very tired looking and pale, but smiling alchemist and in his arm, supporting him was his most loyal subordinate, most precious friend and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen: First lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

A/N: Sniff, now it has finally ended. I hope the alchemy thing wasn't bad… and by the way, I think some of you may have recognized the flashback, it was from my other fiction "My light" from chapter 10, check it out I hope you all enjoyed it till the end. I sure enjoyed writing it. Thank you from reading! If you really liked it, please give me a review…I promise that if I get at least five reviews, I will write you a bonus-chapter.


	15. Epilogue:No need for words

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, or get any money from writing this.

A/N: So, here it is, as I promised: The epilogue. It is short and _sweet_. I hope you enjoy the happily ever after and for one final time, thank you from reading. Watch out the cuteness ;)

**Bonus Chapter: No need for words**

Her skin has healthy color and her amber eyes are bright, but not from tears of pain, instead of joy. She is almost smiling; she has a gentle look on her face as she supports the man standing beside her. And what's most important: She is _alive_.

Havoc steps forward and gives the woman a hug while she still won't let go of her superior.

"Glad to see you're ok."

"Thank you, Jean."

Now she smiles, just a little. Havoc lets go and examines Mustang's face. Its color is almost white and he hardly stays on his feet. Using the alchemy seems to have taken its toll.

"So, Chief, how are you?"

Mustang's onyx eyes shine as he smirks. His expression is total opposite to his appearance. There is this huge relief on his face.

"Better than ever. You should probably call the guys now, Havoc. I'm sure they're happy to hear she's fine."

"Sure, Chief."

_But not half as happy as you are…_Havoc grins as he leaves his superiors and friends alone.

"So, do you think we should go to your room for awhile? I bet the guys don't want to stand in the corridor."

"That's fine, Sir. At least you can sit down there and you don't need support."

"…You mean to say that I'm fat?"

"No, no, Sir, I think it is your swollen ego weighing here."

She answers with completely serious face before letting out a small laugh at his offended expression. For awhile everything is back to normal, like nothing ever happened. Like she was never shot, like he never told her those three meaningful words. Yes, those words…when the silence comes between them, the words linger in their ears.

They move to the bed in her private room and suddenly, it is awfully quiet. They often have moments when they don't speak, but that is because they don't need words. They have known each other so long, that sometimes only a quick glance at the other can tell what he or she is thinking. But right now, the words have somehow changed it all. Their heartbeats are too loud, their thoughts too confusing.

He is thinking how she never really told him if she feels the same. What if it is because she really doesn't?

She is thinking how he said those words, with such a serious voice. But did he really mean it the way she understood? Did he mean that he loved her like one would love his wife, or did he mean that he loved her like one would love his little sister?

He can't see how she stares at his face mesmerized by his features. She can't feel how she is making him crazy just with being so close to him, her scent so intoxicating.

But then just when the silence is starting to be too nerve-breaking he lifts his gaze and he sees her beautiful amber eyes, that hold such a powerful longing, that have a gentle look in them. And she feels how his hand is shaking as he put a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

So he leans forward with a storm of emotions in his eyes and cups her face. She closes her eyes as their lips meet, lifts her other hand to his midnight black, messy hair. And suddenly the words aren't needed as the line is finally broken. The invisible line they drew after Ishval, after he burned the secrets of her back, so that they could fool themselves. The line of no touching, getting too close, so that anyone couldn't notice, so that they themselves wouldn't notice what was always evident.

Because like they always knew, there were never any other options for them. Never any other he would die for, never any other would she follow even after death. Her fingers move in his dark locks, his hand draws her closer from her slender waist and he smiles into the kiss, so, so relieved that this gorgeous creature is really in his arms right now. That is the place where she should always stay and they both know it.

They had to get air after awhile and she leans to his chest with a smile on her face, slightly pink at her cheeks. They then change a gaze, hold a silent conversation through their eyes.

"We can't tell."

"No, we can't. Not yet."

"You have to make it soon."

"I know."

His answer is steady and he kisses her forehead gently. Then she whispers so quietly the words he has always wanted to hear.

"I love you."

()()()

When the team Mustang comes and Fuery opens the door a huge smile forms on their faces. The pale, dark-haired alchemist is holding the blonde sniper in his arms, leaning to the pillow behind his back. Hawkeye is squeezing his uniform jacket and her head is resting against his chest. Mustang's chin is in her hair, his hand around her waist.

"Aww…aren't they cute?"

Fuery asks and Havoc lets out a quiet laugh.

"If Hughes was here…imagine the pictures."

"They must have been exhausted."

Falman says and Breda grins.

"Wonder why…"

"Chief couldn't stay on his two feet and the Lieutenant almost died, I guess it is a reason good enough. But I definitely want to ask some questions when they wake up…"

Havoc smirks. They then close the door quietly, leaving the two dreaming about each other.

A/N: So that was cute, wasn't it? I hope you liked it. Oh and now I want to say it…**The End**.


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